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Pennsylvania's Most Interesting Blog

04 Mai 2005

"Who Wants To Be A Christiannaire?"

I'm exhausted. I am a bit disoriented, as it is Wedesday of finals week and I'm just now realizing that I'm not in some weird funk, that NO, I have not had to go teach or attend courses this week, so my schedule is off kilter. I don't have to be up at the 'C.O.D.' (crack of dawn), which is nice in some ways, disorienting in others. For while I initally just don't like having to get out of bed on any given day, I do like the feeling of having accomplished a lot by 10 AM.

Ok, that last bit there? To provide a concrete example of something that is NOT Most Interesting!

I've had the feeling all day that it's Friday, the day I do things like go to the post office, grocery store, etc., and rent DVD's for evening because I'm usually too tired to go out on Friday nights and I dumped cable so I have been watching lots of movies lately. But today is Wednesday, hmm. Good thing, since I have this Rather Large Paper due on Friday.

But before I clear my plate for that so I can concentrate fully on one specific controversial issue germaine to appplied linguistics (and no, I won't give away my state secrets of which issue, you'll have to wait), I need to take care of any number of work things, which I will do, but not at this second just yet.

This morning I met a friend from last summer's 'SAS' program (if you really want to know what that is, ask away, but it is not relevant to enjoying the wit of today's blog entry) who breezed in to town with a friend to see some concert last night and we went out to the Waffle Shop for brekkie. It was a sight to behold, really perhpas the Most Interesting Waffle Shop in Pennsylvania. Loaded with kids (I mean undergrads, not school kids) and a visiting parent and/or kids who had obviously, as evident from their disheveled looks, had just come from a final or from celebrating finishing a final or Something. It was loud. Food was disappearing fast, the waitstaff was more or less courteous despite the high tabel turnover. One thing that concerns me though, about the youth of today: there was a girl who propped her -bare feet- up on the ledge of the booth, facing the aisle where the poor waitstaff and customers could get a look at her ugly-ass bare feet. I mean, come ON. That is just NAST. It was all I could do to not fake-vomit in front of her for her clear lack of any trace of, oh, shall we say, manners? Poor, poor, her, is all I have to say about that. Manners is where I go all Red State on people's dairy-airs.

Anywhoo, after dropping these guys off at their car I decided to digest my breakkie special taking my Big Bad Blue Buick (1985, 39,000 original miles, thank you very much. I will challenge your new car any day) to the Outer Limits of Western Centre County, specifically to Philpsburg, Pennsylvania.

The Outer Limits of Centre Co. qualify as a Most Interesting Thing in Penna. Philipsburg, and if you are from there, please correct me here, is...creepy. Maybe on sunny days it's more pleasant but this was a gray Wednesday, around 1pm, and NOTHING was open. Stores and windows boarded up, like many Penna towns, very obviously flourishing 100-150 years ago but due to shifting economic conditions and The Way Things Are, have just kind of been left. There was one place with a 'revitalization' initiative going on so...stay tuned to Philipsburg. Lots of ammo shops and the district court is there. Plus like many such towns, always a tat 'n piercing place and of course the Chinese restaurant.

Lo and behold though, the Dollar Store was open so I went in and used my super sharp ethnographic data collecting ears to get the skinny on the 'haps' in town. One younger gentleman was all dressed up snappy and I thought "Hmm, he must be in local poltics, he seems to know everyone in a sort of neighborly-yet-I-am-sucking-up-to-you" kind of way, and then another not-so-younger guy told him he'd be voting for him for mayor. I'm clairvoyant!

Yeah, so now I have cleaning supplies. Thank goodness. By the way, here is a short list of things that should do themselves without any effort on my part: (a) plants watered (b) dishes thoroughly cleaned, dried put away (c) groceries buy themselves (d) grading. If you have any tips along these lines, you will qualify for a Most Interesting in Pennsylvania entry of your own.

But the absolute most funny, or -funniest-, to those who nit-pick over those sort of things, item of the day was the church sign on the way to Philipsburg, somewhere on 322W, reading "Who Wants to Be A Christiannaire"?

Seeing that sign made me want to rush in with my sparkly wig and tambourine and do a dance and say oh me me me! Wait, I already am a Christiannire. Which is exactly how I'm going to write it next time I have to fill out one of those survey things and put your religious preferences. Um, can I be Lutheran and still be a Christiannaire? Do I have to ask questions and win cash prizes to reach a certain level of "Chrisitannaire"-ity?. OK, that's just silly, sorry. The larger quesetion, which could perhaps be more carefully explored with empirical data, is who the heck thinks of these things? There must be an online pastor group specializing in 'witty signs to rope in your congregation' or something.

You just never know what might happen here in Most Interesting Pennsylvania. Oh, you'll be happy to know that when my ears popped at some point of the drive it was because of the "Allegheny Mountains, Elevation 2042 feet" location, not from over-extending my brain. Did I spell Allegheny correctly? I make my check out to Allegheny Power every month and I have to check the spelling on the statement EVERY time. I'm so obviously not local. But at least I know how to pronounce "Oregon".

But perhaps the True and Last Most Interesting Thing today is that I can say now that I have scoped Centre Co. hither and yon, and NO, spring is NOT here yet. All deciduous trees are bare, naked, and sad looking.

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