Help! I've been Schranke-ed!

I give you Exhibit "A" [see photo above].

I need to know what this thing is called in order to elaborate further on the story about how I got totally CLOCKED by one in the Frasier Street parking garage* yesterday as I was standing around looking for where the heck to pay for my damn parking. There was no car, no person, no movement, no sound, and both these thingies were in the upright position so I didn't really notice them.

Apparently I was standing all 'ungunstig' (unreasonably, or in a bad position, or, hell, in a manner that was, well...ungunstig, OK?) because out of NOWHERE I get this massive smack in the head. I was thinking: thug with bat? No, no people around. Real heavy bird? Softball?

And then I was like holy [insert offensive expletive here], I did NOT just get WHACKED by the...thingie!!

Dead on the noggin, with a nice forehead swelling action/bruisage to match. Have suffered massive headaches all day, even necessitating a visit to university health to be told that there is no cerebral bleeding (which, in all honesty, is a relief, since I'm behind on papers and an excuse like a bleeding brain might sound like attempts to procrastinate. But I bet my committee's never heard THAT one..). So very light concussion, bring it on. The headaches might also be from just not sleeping enough last night, plain and simple.

I'm so cranky and peeved about it and didn't notice the pain as much last evening because I was excited that (a) earlier I had bought some guitar humidifiers at much less than I'd thought they'd be (it's maintenance season: this cold weather and dry central heating in my pad is not a happy place for wood stringed instruments). Hehe, I bet that sounds totally nerdy but in case you haven't figured out by now, I know you think I'm 'weird' and I aint afraid to live up to that;) and also that (b) I had my following work day planned out; and also also that (c) Ginapalooza, code name 'GOLF', stopped in for the night, breaking from her road trip from Washington State to D.C., with her entourage consisting of 'JULIET' and 'DELTA' the dog.

Here, Exhibit "B":


So it was 'GOLF', 'LIMA', 'JULIET' and 'DELTA' with cheeseteaks over the Golden Globes, what's not to love? See Red Red Rine for more deets on this morning's brekkie action.

But I digress from my anguish and clearly pining away for sympathy: What the HECK is this Most Interesting Thing called? I can only explain it though gesture in English, or lexically in German, identifying it "eine Schranke" or "eine Schranke vor der Tiefparkgarage" or what have you, but I just am at a loss for what to call this auf Englisch (psycholinguists? Are you listening? Don't you study this lexical access bizniss?)

Please help a girl out! Muchas gracias!

I guess one good thing that has come out of this (besides people getting to say "OMG did you hear what happened to Lisaopolis, what a DORK!") is that come class time, I attempted to provide a teaching moment, so my students got to hear (1) an delightful narrative in German and (2) learn a swell and very useful new word. HA! No kids, "die Schranke" is not going to be on the quiz. But I do give props for them first guessing "So you were in your convertable and the thing just came down and hit you?" 'cause, you know, I'd be driving my convertable in 20-degree Fahrenheit weather. LOVE em!

And word seemed to spread around the office because on my way to university health, I walked past colleagues 'JULIET' and 'NOVEMBER' and I think also 'ROMEO' and I said, "I'll see you guys after a bit, I'm going to university health to get my head checked!"

(to which I bet they were secretly thinking, "About darn time!")

Double and: this is like the third 'odd' injury I have gotten myself into in the last months/year or so. I am detecting patterns. 34 years of no breakage and now I'm falling to pieces? Lawd! On a good note, I have taken some generic, prescription, vicodin-like 'pain reliever' left over from my corneal abrasion this summer, treated in Madison, WI ('beers, brats & abrasions, oh ya') so I hope to doze off any time now. Heck, I paid for all of it, might as well put it to good use. Don't worry, I didn't wash it down with gin. THIS time.

So please be careful out there and watch for flying, er...falling Schranken!
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*should I sue? :) lol